6/7/2021 - 6/13/2021
6/7/21
man. today ended up being surprisingly good for music. i crawled around in some earlier projects kind of listlessly, at first. I was trying to reharmonize this one song that’s pretty established, but that felt kinda tough so i abandoned it.
I worked on ‘bored & worse, fine with it’ a little bit - I ended up putting additional vocals/lyrics on it (that I had written before). So i let those rip…it’s early to do final vocals but I find that it’s good to just chase the tiny desires you have while making a song even if it’s ‘irresponsible’.
I ended up going hard on this new song that is actually prettttyy dope? so pumped about it all of the sudden. i absolutely love when that happens. I was talking about this last week I believe.
anyways, now I’m listening to a mega slowed down of another song of mine called “Patient Role”. Which I haven’t shared yet. I don’t know when I will…maybe this week.
This felt good tn.
6/8/21
yesterday was a hang day with michael and graci. i also talked with aaron about getting him set up with some marketing to find new music students. ps, if you wanna be his music student, just let me know.
we listened to michael’s album which is something i do a lot of actually, it’s an amazing record. one of my absolute favorites.
the night ended with me talking to my two roommates about all of this shit i’ve been going through lately. god, i have so many thoughts and feels all coiled together. i used to never cry. i cry all the time now.
to be totally honest, i have my first therapy appointment ever coming up. this last relationship really put me in a state.
i hope i can sleep tonight. i’ll a share a song tomorrow.
6/9/21
today was real shitty.
i worked on music a bit, but barely got anywhere. I mostly cried.
I did take some orders. i drove by my ex’s new house and saw her car. she lives really close to me now, she used to live 35 mins away.
as much as i hated the sound of it, I did my yoga. then, i watched the final episode of ‘the boys’ with my roommate.
gonna go to bed…sorry. Here’s a new tune, like I promised
6/10/21
i tried my damndest to do music today, and i chipped away at just a few things before feeling too sad to keep going. so my roommate took me out for ice cream and we blasted ‘fucked up friends’ by tobacco. it honestly helped a lot.
it put me in a mood to get back home and work on stuff, so i did…i’m talking to someone about doing a music video for emulator, so i started setting up my SPD-sx to be able to play that and i messed around with it.
i had my first ever therapy appointment this morning. i liked it. he seemed to be fine to get right to the heart of things, and i like that he is focused on progress. it’s funny how much i talk to friends endlessly about deep shit - it feels very similar but he’s looking for meaningful ins/outs.
really interesting. I could see it being helpful. i’m excited for the next one…
talk tomorrow
6/11/21
6/12/21
today i beefed up the above songs by replacing all the demo instruments with ‘real’ synths and and 808 from the studio. I thought i’d opt for pretty different tones, but I actually ended up more or less recreating them with the benefit of it being beefier/bigger.
Other than that I messed around with a reharmonization moment on ‘Patient role’ which i got kinda frustrated with. I didn’t sleep well today either. so actually i worked on music stuff until i couldn’t take it, and then managed to nap for like 10 minutes. which kinda helped?
did yoga and then me and my friend alex (he’s actually a printerville resident) got ramen and then went to see sungazer. first real show i attended post-covid. quite mind blowing!
got drinks with two other friends after that. it was a rare evening of just hanging and recreating. if you know me you know i’m bad at that. maybe?
6/13/2021
today was entirely social. i woke up, packed up orders, and then went to do the usual sunday errands with michael. always a great time. right after that we met up with graci for lunch and i told them a whole story about the ex. they made me feel much better about it
then i got on a phone call with a friend to catch up and get some more ‘therapy’ in. lmao. it’s been helping.
after that, me and my roommates + jacob (friend) got on the roof of our house and just sat in the evening heat and looked over the skyline. i was mostly in my head, but it was actually a nice compliment to the moment
after that we watched an album by ‘floating points’ on the stereo with the lights off. it was quite nice but dragged on a bit much for me.
had a great night’s sleep and hope i’ll do so again. i want to read this 33 1/3 book i have on pet sounds that i’ve never opened. i suppose i’ll start it in bed tn.