11/29/2021 - 12/5/2021
11/29/21
thanksgiving was nice. i got to go to ikea ✨always a therapeutic time for me. it’s wild how much i love ikea.
anyway, tonight i got dinner with my friend graci as we had a lot to catch up on.
tbh, i reached out to her to catch up because i felt that we were somewhat backslidden and i didn’t like the feeling. I thought that this might help and if i’m honest, it made it worse for reasons I can’t explain.
anyway, michael sent me clips of a let’s play we started recordin and it was pretty funny. we played roller coaster tycoon.
11/30/2021
today was really horrible.
i stayed up late last night and it caused me to sleep like garbage - and i dunno if that’s all that’s going on with me today - but for whatever reason my mood is shit. I couldn’t get anything done. i was intermittently crying all day to pet sounds and genevieve artadi.
it’s so hard to put my finger on why i get like this sometimes. last night i dreamt of a new BP song that didn’t exist, and the content of the song was so tragic to me. the lyrics of the song were somewhere along the lines of, “it’s not just that i’m doomed to be sad - it’s that i want to be sad - and i’m doomed to want it”. like lamenting an addiction to sadness, and almost noting that as way more worse and depressing than actually being a victim to some circumstances.
I woke up pretty much in tears after dreaming that, really set a weird tone for today.
there are so many intertwined reasons why i’m brittle today, none of which i can really get into.
i did do yoga and pack up all of the black friday orders.
i was thinking about how writing daily is probably unnecessary in here - i will probably be writing much less in the future. i don’t even think many of you are checking these out.
i’m gonna write when music stuff happens or I just feel like it. I’m sure you won’t mind/feel the difference. let me know if you do, though.
love you all.
12/4/2021
sorry for the really bummed out post earlier, but maybe you’re into the rawest version of me.
a lot of that stuff causing my issues has lightened up, and some of it has been traded for other badness…but such is life and it’s all on its way to getting handled for sure.
anyway…today i was tying up two main things that were on my to do list that weren’t new music oriented. I wanted to clear them up so I could just have a clear runway for new album stuff over the next few weeks.
first thing was editing and mixing the audio from the show on 11/13 so we could edit this video we got. i think the audio came out pretty good - we were aiming to get mickey mouse / james dean, but there might be some other tunes too that we can spit out. pumped to see how it all looks!
anyway - here’s the mix for MM / JD, live at mercy lounge on 11/13
The other thing was this podcast with a bp fan and now peer, attxla. you’ll be able to hear that on monday!
love you all. again, i’ll probably just be writing when i have something clear to share. no need to just give small rambles about nothing right?