10/11/2021 - 10/17/2021
10/11/21
meh, iffy sleep last night - but got through the day alright i suppose.
i’ve been feeling like i’m just constantly fending off sadness or malaise. i don’t know if it’s a living alone thing, or what. i have a brain that’s somewhat like “go go go”. if i have an open night, there’s a million things i could be doing - and not doing them feels like a failure. i wonder if this just sets me up to always anticipate looming disappointment. this cross sected with my confused romantic feelings that i mentioned last week - maybe it just puts me in a constant state of not-chill existential crisis. dunno.
put it tons of work on a variety of things I needed to accomplish though, including this merch survey if you’re interested in getting involved early.
also listened to this new song i started that’s been stuck in my head forever since i wrote it. good sign. i ought to make some progress on it, but that is the worst thing to try to get motivated for.
also got into some video editing and ads for the upcoming show in november. gotta make sure that does well. maybe see you there?
3rd wheeling and jealousy is a specific kind of frustration.
10/12/2021
tonight i actually worked a bit on that song i was talking about yesterday. i put down some new vocal takes and ran it through some synths. still not sold on it, but i’m getting much better at recognizing progress and not getting discouraged. always been my biggest thing.
the basic printer approach has always been to try to get things right on the first go - but not like in a perfectionist way. just like, put down an idea, and hopefully you love it exactly as it came out, and you don’t need to re record it or rethink it. that can help a ton, but it’s also dogmatic in a stupid way many times. so any time i’m re-recording or ‘thinking’ about stuff or changing stuff it just feels annoying and like a failure and like i’ll never find the best version of it.
that all aside, the overall point here is i made good progress on a song i’m digging and i’ve recognized that, which is great. i really believe in this one and i think it’ll get stuck in peeps heads fo sho.
don’t have time for an export but i’ll put it into the “cravin’” folder next week.
10/13/2021
alright, tonight i saw my friend ed play music at the basement because he’s on tour. before that, i just needed to do some packing and chores to make sure i’m ready for an early flight the next day.
the concert was great, his music is really not something i choose to listen to, but they are undeniably a great band with a super engaging show. they’re hitting a lot of success which is great too. michael and graci and i went together. on the way home, i played solitaire in the backseat of the car, feeling pretty shitty honestly.
already can tell tonight’s night of sleep will be fucked, got home much too late!
10/14/2021
WAS AT A STUPID FUCKING WEDDING
10/15/2021
WAS AT A STUPID FUCKING WEDDING
10/16/2021
WAS AT A STUPID FUCKING WEDDING
10/17/2021
WAS AT A STUPID FUCKING WEDDING
but what i’ll say is that i listened to yeezus by kanye and quite liked it. if nothing else it gives me a lot of sonic inspiration. also, you all filled out the survey and that was fuckin sick. love. the results were very fun.