Day 6: Two Heart Tombs
VLOG #6
LYRICS:
The circumventing
Looking into a sorry room
Nothing protecting
But glass don’t shatter with a boom
Two heart tombs
I am closer than ever now
I am alone now
I’ll never try to come around
A chest contains the heart of another
A chest inside a room entombed
Opaque and painful, nebulous, gone
No door and fifteen ways to be done
The circumventing
Looking into a sorry room
Nothing protecting
But glass don’t shatter with a boom
Two heart tombs
I am closer than ever now
I am alone now
I’ll never try to come around
I shot and killed the heart of another
A chest inside a room entombed
So bleak and painful, nebulous one
No door and sixteen ways to be done
The circumventing
Looking into a sorry room
Nothing protecting
But glass don’t shatter with a boom
Two heart tombs
Was never living from the start
I am alone now
I’ll never try to come around
Video:
Acoustic version I whipped up for ya.
Journal Entry #6: Psychopathy
I don't really know how to write this journal entry...
This song, while about a larger concept, was created out of a distinct experience relating to a specific person.
I guess the only thing I could say is that, all in all...have you ever wondered if you were capable of feeling certain things? Have you ever felt like you were immune to certain kinds of joy, or empathy?
It sounds really messed up, but that's often how I feel. I really don't know if I'm built for certain things. When I examine it, that seems crazy. It seems like there's no way that is an impossible concept. Surely, everyone has the capacity to feel everything, right?
So, then I examine myself. I ask what's wrong with me? Am I halting people and things from entering my life in joyous ways? Is it a fear or lack of understanding that causes me to stop myself?
I wondered if, maybe, I was being too presumptuous. Maybe I was assuming wrongfully that I wouldn't be able to give or accept love from certain people. I figured I was writing people off too quickly.
So, I gave someone a try. I hoped it would bloom. It didn't. And I was left wondering, how well do I know myself...? Clearly, I knew better in this case. If I know myself well, than I'm convinced something's wrong with me, because I find myself to be so consistently resistant to letting someone in.
For this song, I likened this whole feeling to surveying a locked room that contains something valuable. There's no door, and the windows don't give when trying to break them. Inside the room is a chest that contains truth, or freedom of some sort.
This is what it often feels like for me. Like I forbid myself from feeling.
GEAR USED:
Roland TR-9 (Drums)
Arturia Minibrute Bass Synthesizer (Basslines)
Korg Poly-800 (Lead synth line in chorus, woozy synth during outro)
Roland JU-06 Digital Synth (Lead synth in verses, chord synth in choruses)
Fender Telecaster (Guitar)