haha yeah
2022

1. <3 mechanical heartbeat <3
2. patient role feat. a.j. crew
3. igf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
4. bored, & worse…fine with it!
5. ever since you moved (down the street)
6. tourniquet
7. !! time to give up!! feat. cryptic one
8. i’ll be the one to leave

Mechanical Heartbeat

Mechanical heartbeat
Lovely flowing hair
Rigid cold and fucked up
Really one to care
Mechanical heartbeat
Lovely flowing hair
Rigid cold and fucked up
Really one to care

I’m needing to love then I’ll push it away
I’m needing to love then I’ll push it away
Don’t need it baby
It’s tricky to start ‘cause it spoils away
I need it baby
So lonely yet not, should be locked away
So lonely yet not, should be locked away
I’ll hurt ya baby
I don’t need to start ‘cause I’ll rot us away
I don’t need it baby

Yet I dream of a love that’s
Rippling with ease and care
Could I take it there?
Oh well I’m just not sure
Lucky to be loved by one at all
But we can’t start ‘cause you’ll just take the fall

Mechanical heartbeat
Lovely flowing hair
Rigid cold and fucked up
Really one to care

I’m needing to love then I push it away
I’m needing to love then I push it away
Don’t need it baby
It’s tricky to start ‘cause it spoils away
I need it baby
So lonely yet not, should be locked away
So lonely yet not, should be locked away
I’ll hurt ya baby
I don’t need to start ‘cause I’ll rot us away
I don’t need it baby

Yet I dream of a love that’s
Rippling with ease and care
Could I take it there?
Oh well I’m just not sure
Lucky to be loved by one at all
But we can’t start ‘cause you’ll just take the fall
Could it be that it’s not real?Could it be that I suck?
Are my standards too high?
Oh well I’m just not sure
Lucky to be loved by one at all
So we can’t start ‘cause you’ll just take the fall

Mechanical heartbeat
Lovely flowing hair
Rigid cold and fucked up
Really one to care
Mechanical heartbeat
Lovely flowing hair
Rigid cold and fucked up
Really one to care

Patient Role feat. A.J. Crew

I know you know me too well to know that I am doing badly
Save me, tell me, I need to know I’m needed
I need to know I’m healthy
I’m begging for empathy, know me

Too small, not tall, weakness emanates
Leap of faith into your arms
Catch me, please get me
Lovely, please hold me by the shoulders
I’m needing to get closer
I’m needing to get warmer
Tighter

So sick, need it
Give me everything
Anything that I could need
Please, take me
Brush the dirt and the soot up off my shoulders
Then take me to your shower, and clean my back biblically
Maybe

Our love is like a nurse carefully, tepidly checking in regularly
‘cept the patient role switches on the daily
First it’s you, then it is me
So who gets the good stuff today, ‘cause I’m scarred and feeling sickly
And I need your loving quickly, regardless

(A.J. Crew)
I need it, I want it since we had started
The center of attention, we flip reciprocal on it
Please give me a shot of love and put it where my arm is
And do it with a calmness
Girl, you know that people feel different ‘bout (vaccines!)
When I ask about you, reactions are past mean
I ain’t think that loving you is controversy
I just tell em stop it
Cuz if you are a virus, in the future I can block it
But I gotta be inside it in order for me to face it
The rapid test results but is the printer way too basic?

(Basic Printer)
Always band aid, never antidote
Never knows what it takes to solve this ailed body
Honey, you know we are together
You know we are conjoined
Your heart poisons with mine
Try

IGF

You’ve been craving his words out my mouth, but
I’m too cut to be around you
Look what you do, I’m reeling
Mind revs like a wheel now that I left you
Sobs escape a trembling face
When some pet sounds are humming
Wouldn’t it be nice to live together?
We could lay cuddled in the morn
But I’m too torn to do it
Never would have thought I could attract this
Monumental lover of lore
So much in store, grab it

Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with me,
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with the
Way you call and I don’t even answer
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with me,
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong
‘cause we both agreed that it’s you and not me
Oh, I’m terribly torn, honey
Oh, I’m terribly torn ‘cause I’m
Scarce of love and you gave me a glimmer
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with me,
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with me
With me
WIth me

(But every single time that you try I get fucked)

Wouldn’t it be nice to live together?
We could lay cuddled in the morn
But I’m too torn to do it
Never would have thought I could attract this
Monumental lover of lore
So much in store, grab it

Girl, I’m open wide
We really tried
My toxicity’s been checked at the front door
Oh, I’ve been so patient, honey
Oh, I swear nothing’s wrong with me
With me
With me

(‘Cause every single time that I try I get fucked)

You’ve been craving his words out my mouth, but
I’m too cut to be around you
Look what you do, I’m reeling
Mind revs like a wheel now that I left you
Sobs escape a trembling face
When some pet sounds are humming

Wouldn’t it be nice to live together?
We could lay cuddled in the morn
But I’m too torn to do it
Never would have thought I could attract this
Monumental lover of lore
So much in store, grab it

Bored, & Worse, Fine With It

Bored, and worse, fine with it
I can trust to know
That I will go and
Give myself another dose of
Everything
I’m looking for
Just give me two
Days I’ll be rushing back
To that
Place
Where I know I’m good and real
& royalty
& always seeking introspective
Thoughtless streams
That dawn on me
Don’t need it but I’ll give it to me

no matter what i do, i always come back to it
never once never once never once never once never once never once
gotta wonder,
how many ways and how many times?
how many ways and how many times?
how many ways and how many times?
no matter what i do, i always come back to it
never once never once never once never once never once never once
gotta wonder,
how many ways and how many times?
how many ways and how many times?
how many ways and how many times?

Ever Since You Moved (Down the Street)

Ever since you moved
down the street
I’ve gotten in the habit of driving by your house
Every evening
I didn’t know where you lived at first but I used context clues 
To find your Honda Accord
Parked in the lot with the thing dangling from the rearview
I do it because it’s the only way that I can feel connected
We can’t be together
We can’t even talk
We can’t because it’s bad for me

The third time time that I drove by
you were outside
You didn’t see me, but I saw all the triggers
The fit, the smoke, the dog
The boyfriend
And all I wanted was to get out of my car,
Or beep the horn
But instead I drove on
Hyperventilating, wondering what the fuck’s wrong with me

Tourniquet

No, don’t look at me now,
No, we’re gonna fall out, do not -
No, I’m needing you now, do not go
I need ya
So, I’ll figure it out
Wrap my wounds with a towel, twist it
Tight and come back anew, ready to
Be with ya

I’m still bleeding out
Razors out your mouth
Give you so much doubt
I never loved
But this is love?
Think I should get out

No, don’t look at me now
No, we’re gonna fall out, do not -
No, I’m needing you now, do not go
I need ya
Yup, you’ve given me grief,
Yes, there’s never relief, but I’m
Sure you’re hurting inside, let me through
I’ll give ya

Anything you want
Just to make this stop
Everything I’ve got
Should I be cold or hot?
It doesn’t matter what
Just don’t turn and
Run

No, don’t look at me now,
No, we’re gonna fall out, do not -
No, I’m needing you now, do not go
I need ya

But I’m nearly dead
Eyes still shot blood red
Never needed
Anyone to give me comfort
Now you’ve gone and clipped my ankles
and your consolation is the
only thing I have

No, don’t look at me now,
No, we’re gonna fall out, do not -
No, I’m needing you now, do not go
I need ya
So, I’ll figure it out
Wrap my wounds with a towel, twist it
Tight and come back anew, ready to
Be with ya

It just felt so rare
Really seemed like
You were scratching all my itches
Now I’m left with burning bridges
And a sickly feeling that my
Best heart still breaks

Time to Give Up feat. Cryptic One

Been shook and tattered up lately
No good and rattled up baby
So tired and shriveled up, mayday
Been shook and tattered up lately
View me
With hurt disrobed
Fall into my world, forget the pain
Want strife to be gone
Don’t know why
I don't know why
You changed and cut me up baby
So we’ll split and move along blankly

Needing my love
You’re needing it tough
I’m needing your love
But none is enough, no
Needing my love
You’re needing it tough
I’m needing your love
But you can never give me enough of it
Needing my love
You’re needing it tough
I’m needing your love
But you give it just to meet the quota

There’s nothing left to be done
I thought you could be the one
But now it’s time to give up

Been shook and tattered up lately
No good and rattled up baby
So tired and shriveled up, mayday
Been shook and tattered up lately
Lately
Lately
So rattled up, baby
Been shook and tattered up lately
Don’t know why
I don’t know why
You changed and cut me up baby
So we’ll split and move along blankly

(Cryptic One)
It’s basic
I printed it on the dot matrix
Then put the paper next to the writing on the wall so you can face it, taste it
The calm before the storm, soon the thunder rumbling loud
Trauma I’m accumulating like cumulus clouds
It's not hate that's precipitating, but there’s a relation
And I’m awaiting for drier times but I’m losing patience
And once the water settles my head will be below sea level
I’m treading water with cement shoes and it’s stressful, dreadful
This head full of dreams?
Same head full of steam
And sometimes things are precisely as they seem
S-s-s-system overload
I know the source of my growing woes
Warts on the toad, we’re at that old tuning fork in the road
Divergent routes & open eyes to see the truth
And mute the root of these feedback loops
I’m out the plane without the parachute
The truth’s a simple riddle love
Supply the answer with a simple shrug
I’ve given up

(Basic Printer)
Your love was stronger than ever
Brutal yet light as a feather
Hurt me without even wanting
Jack in the box, innocent, daunting
Am I villainous?
Or will you imagine anything
That makes your world fit?
Though you tried
I know you tried
And I know you’ll never find this true
But I wish I could have stayed with you

I’ll Be the One to Leave

I’ll go
I’ll be the one to leave
I’m the one that’s so secure and beautiful, I’m fine, don’t mind me
‘Cause my ribs cage nothing worth wondering for

It’s me
I’ll be the one to leave
I’ll take my gaunt sulk and stoned stare and slip right out, you’ll see
‘Cause my ribs cage nothing worth caring for

When it is time you’ll say “I hope that he’s fine”
Not give it a second thought, “I’m sure he’s got it all figured out”

‘Cause my ribs cage nothing worth caring for
If they cage something at all